If I lose it, will you remind me where we've been?

Oh, a long day.
College = fine, only double philosophy, english language and psychology..Nothing major.
Then J met me afterwards. Awkward. We got on fine, maybe a little too fine.
He made me kiss him, I felt too bad not to..
It was the first time we'd seen each other since I broke up with him.
I thought he was okay, but evidently he's not.
I'm slightly worried about him. We parted quite badly at about 7ish, and I don't think he went home.
I hope he's okay..
I care about him, I just don't love him anymore. I don't feel love for him anymore, in the pit of my stomach.
I WANT to love him, I just don't, and nothing's going to change that.

In other news, I'm not losing any weight. I sicken myself. There's diet coke in the house now though, so hopefully I'll be drinking more of that and there'll be less eating.
Strange thing is, I don't eat when I'm high, or drunk...only when I'm completely sober. I just can't say no to food. Well I can, but I keep putting it off. Where is the 'no tomorrow' girl from a week ago? What the hell?
I hate myself sometimes. I make myself sick.

Haha. Pun intended.