Saturday, 8 May 2010

I am so lonely.
But I'm surrounded by people.
My little sister, my gorgeous little sister took an overdose, so I'm sorry if I'm gone for a little while again. She's okay, but she needs me now.

She needs me.

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Rational Now.

I'm feeling better. Somewhat. I'm going to have one more rant about J then I'm going to try to stop lol. He was on skype this morning, 8.30, I only got to sleep at about 4.30, so I was tired. He barely said anything to me, just 'how dare you speak to me like that' and basically laughed at me for hurting. There's something not right about this relationship now and I can't bear it. I love him so much, but he's turning into one of them. By 'them' I mean like his friends. They don't give a shit about their girlfriends, all they do is drink and smoke weed and play football or listen to music. Its not the drink and drugs and footie and music I'm bothered about. It's the fact that he's just abandoned me for it and I forgot to mention the other day that I've fallen out with L, that horrible friend I had. So as he is the top of the food chain, I'm getting horrible looks from most of the people I considered to be my friends, and this is when I need him most. He just went offline, as if he had never started a conversation. I'm so upset and angry and I've got noone to talk to, no way of talking to him, nothing. I lent him my phone, which was meant to be a short term thing, but he's had it for months now. I don't mind about him having it, it's just he's turned it off, and it's supposed to be my way of talking to him. That's the only reason...

I'm fed up.