Where did the time go? 08:31

I'm in my fifth week of college, That's unbelievable. When did I lose those days? I know I lost my weekends to alcoholic parties, but every day seems to rush by and, I hate to admit it, but I'm scared.

I'm really scared.

I had this plan for my life. I was going to go to uni in london, train to be a youthworker and have a family, then be a politician.

I don't think I want that anymore. I'm going to move to New York and be a waitress. Or Saint Petersburg. Somewhere that's not here.

I need to get away...

The kind of place I could fall in love with.
The kind of place I could live in.
The kind of place I could die in.

Uhoh.. 13:19

One of the guys I slept with at the weekend seems to be hinting that he wants something more?
I'm mates with his best friend, and he said he wasn't interested...

Wtf.

Fuck off.

Where I want to be... 10:12

10 Weeks : I want to make my room
something like this..

I want a lover I don't have to love. 09:58

New template :) Like it?!

I've been thinking about myself today...as I'm ill and it's all I can manage...
And what I've come up with is that I'm a BITCH.
 In the beautiful words of Bright Eyes:

"I want a lover I don't have to love"

I've been treated badly by a lot of guys, but it's made me so much stronger.
I've seen more of the world than most people my age, which is scary..
I suppose that's just me though. Wiser than I should be.
If guys treat me badly, I have no respect for them.
I'm cynical, and I'm sure I'll get hurt again sometime, but not for a little while ey?

I'm maintaining weight, want to lose right now. Just want to melt away.

Love xx

So bad! 08:54

Party last night, and a 'get together' on friday night...I'm so bad!
I drank a lot, didn't eat much, smoked some illegal substances.
Slept with two guys....

Yeah, I shouldn't be allowed out :)

Still, it's all calories burnt, I just hope neither of them think there's anything more...

Peace out xx

I'm sorry... 09:24

I died for a little while, I'm sorry..
I started college, me and J broke up, for good this time.
I like? Or liked? a guy at college. He's called J aswell, but a different J. Lets call him A :)
Well yeah, A is nice, we're friends, he's lovely but not interested. I was...I must stop.
And this has sparked something inside me, maybe the reinforcement I needed. I'm not wanted. No matter how I felt with J, noone else wants me now. And it's because I'm fat. I need to be thinner.
So this is me, back again. When things go bad, I revert back to being me.
I'm 5"3.
I'm 7 stone 9, which is 107lbs.
My BMI is 19.
And within the month I want to be underweight
And within the month I will be below 100.

Watch me.